An honest existence requires that you,
Take responsibility for what you do in life, this includes your actions, thoughts and circumstances.
Sometimes it can be difficult to accept accountability for your behaviour when strong outside forces and influences have been major contributing factors in determining what action you have taken.
This can be particularly true if the measures you have taken are out of character with your usual pattern of doing things.
But if you respond to every situation whether of your own making or not without any malice and do what you feel is right, even if it leaves you with a damaged ego, the best will come of things.